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SCHOOL

• If you're a high school student in a film, you will always get one of the preferable eye-level lockers.
• In all high school or college classrooms, the teacher or professor will always be interrupted in mid-sentence by the end-of-class bell.
• In every school, there is at least one nerd or wimp that is shoved into lockers that are big enough to hold them.
• High Schools are always either in the middle of a city or a car ride away from the beach.

SEX

• All beds have a special L-shaped top sheet, which reaches up to armpit level on women but only to waist level on men.
• No-one ever needs a kleenex after sex.
• If you're a woman in a film and have just finished a steamy lovemaking session, make sure to lay back and pull the sheets up to your neck, just like in real life.
• All women moan during sex, but none sweat.
• Women (and men less often) either make love with their underclothes on or have put them back on in the immediate aftermath.
• Two total strangers, upon falling into bed together, will always reach an incredibly intense, mutual, and simultaneous orgasm on the first try.

SHOPPING

• When bringing home bags of groceries in a film, it's required that you spill at least one bagful on the kitchen floor.
• Bags of groceries are never heavy.
• Whenever anyone in a movie goes shopping, they always come back with stuff sticking out of the top of the shopping bag, usually carrot tops and French bread.
• Corollary: every shopping bag contains at least one baguette (loaf of french bread).

SIGNALS

• If the tapping sound or flashing light represents morse code, there's always someone around that can interpret the message.
• When Morse Code is used, the interpreter will call out words as they are being sent, rather than letters. Furthermore, a single word is represented by a few "beeps", and all words are sent at the same rate, no matter how long the word is. Example: